The Queen...Part Deux...
Ah, so, where was I...oh yeah! I was extremely unhappy with The Queen, there's some sort of online stalker - Shredder - getting me in all sorts of trouble - and I've not exactly been an angel in this experience (karma's a bitch!).
Recap over...
One night this all came to a head with The Queen. About four of the previously mentioned arguments (along with a few I didn't mention) came into play and I was DD'ing while she had carte blanche to drink as much as she wanted - and she did. Furthermore, the roommate and I decided that we would want to have our first "Koots" experience. So, to sum up we have an unhappy Arctic Fox, a drunk, upset, belligerent Queen, and a happy, but drunk roommate trying to keep the peace - and we're all going to Koots!
So, a few storm offs (and many times I failed to follow the storm offs), a few tense conversations, and a whole hell of a lot of nervous smiles from my roommate later it's 2:30 in the AM, The Queen won't let me drive her home (I'm the only sober one), and I make the decision to get the "f" out. I say, "okay," see her get into a cab and begin the drive home. Then comes the texts - I didn't realize I still had her keys, but I did now. However, The Queen is still drunk I think she went back to Koots while everybody was emptying out. So we go back to Koots and finally realize The Queen is back at her place - about 3:30 AM I finally arrive on the scene to a sobbing Queen begging me to break up with her. Meanwhile my roommate is in the car sleeping in my illegally parked car. 2 hours later we get down to an ultimatum - any more huge blowups, arguments, drama or anything and I was gone - that was it.
I was hopeful...for about a week. Then there were small rumblings, but nothing to warrant my bailing. Another week later and it was done. Evidently I wasn't spending enough time with The Queen before my temporary duty for a few weeks (three to four nights a week isn't enough evidently) and when I decided to spend a night seeing a movie with the roommate that she didn't want to see it started the angry texts all over again.
Like everything else breaking up with her wasn't easy - it took an entire day and I missed about an hour of work. At the end of it, however, she put on a brave face after talking with her family and I was clear...at least I thought. I also thought that we could still be friends - not everyday friends, but maybe keep in touch and be friendly. I honestly still thought that she was nice, but just not good for me as a girlfriend. She even drove me to the airport!
I proceeded to leave for a few weeks and I was just having a good time, forgetting about the disastrous last few months when I got an e-mail from the Shredder harassing me about breaking up with The Queen and how my roommate was treating her like a piece of meat, just being a general asshole and other assorted accusations. I was forced to call The Queen who accused me of not really wanting to be her friend and how one of my siblings was sending her pictures of me from some of my nights out in the lower 48. These pictures were inaccessible to only my friends (including The Queen) and my sister had no knowledge of any of this stuff. There was even a copy of my sister's myspace created to make it look like she was sending The Queen these pictures. The Queen blamed Shredder - who she had accused of being successful in breaking us up.
This is when I first had the thought that Shredder was a completely fabricated person (the idea of copying my sister's myspace put it in my head). It would be a rather simple matter to register an e-mail address, find some pictures online, and create some fake profiles on various social networking websites from which The Queen/Shredder could harass me, garner sympathy as The Queen was supposedly getting pranked/harassed by Shredder, get other women out of the way (The Illini anyone?), and basically serve as a scapegoat for anything that goes wrong between The Queen and I.
Over the next two months Shredder was blamed (and I got e-mails about) for trying to get The Queen to take her own life, for scoring a couple shots on The Queen with a baseball bat (but only before The Queen shaved her head), for ordering a bunch of food that The Queen supposedly had to pay for, for poisoning The Queen's pets, stealing her purse (and leaving it at my place outside my door), and leaving animal parts on The Queen's car.
This shit was getting weird...the roommate and I did some more in-depth analysis of the social networking sites both The Queen and Shredder belonged to and confirmed the fact that not only was Shredder a totally fictitious person, but that it was indeed The Queen that created this person. Now, I didn't want all this creative energy focused on me and burning down my house so I did what any self-respecting coward would do, I waited it out.
Over time The Queen realized her antics weren't going to convince me to get back together with her and so a new story was made up - a deal between Shredder and The Queen where Shredder went to rehab and The Queen would do anything she wanted after Shredder got out. Evidently Shredder (remember - Shredder doesn't exist) had a nasty cocaine habit, burned The Queen with cigarettes, and hit such a low in this whole endeavor that she agreed to rehab. I wish her well :)
In any case I still long for the day when my regular dating stories were exciting to me - not this crazy stuff. For example, take this exchange from my junior year of college, "OMG!!! Like I totally went for the HUG and SHE went for the KISS!!! ROFL!!!"
Here's to normalcy - until next time!
AirForceKush - aka - The Arctic Fox
Recap over...
One night this all came to a head with The Queen. About four of the previously mentioned arguments (along with a few I didn't mention) came into play and I was DD'ing while she had carte blanche to drink as much as she wanted - and she did. Furthermore, the roommate and I decided that we would want to have our first "Koots" experience. So, to sum up we have an unhappy Arctic Fox, a drunk, upset, belligerent Queen, and a happy, but drunk roommate trying to keep the peace - and we're all going to Koots!
So, a few storm offs (and many times I failed to follow the storm offs), a few tense conversations, and a whole hell of a lot of nervous smiles from my roommate later it's 2:30 in the AM, The Queen won't let me drive her home (I'm the only sober one), and I make the decision to get the "f" out. I say, "okay," see her get into a cab and begin the drive home. Then comes the texts - I didn't realize I still had her keys, but I did now. However, The Queen is still drunk I think she went back to Koots while everybody was emptying out. So we go back to Koots and finally realize The Queen is back at her place - about 3:30 AM I finally arrive on the scene to a sobbing Queen begging me to break up with her. Meanwhile my roommate is in the car sleeping in my illegally parked car. 2 hours later we get down to an ultimatum - any more huge blowups, arguments, drama or anything and I was gone - that was it.
I was hopeful...for about a week. Then there were small rumblings, but nothing to warrant my bailing. Another week later and it was done. Evidently I wasn't spending enough time with The Queen before my temporary duty for a few weeks (three to four nights a week isn't enough evidently) and when I decided to spend a night seeing a movie with the roommate that she didn't want to see it started the angry texts all over again.
Like everything else breaking up with her wasn't easy - it took an entire day and I missed about an hour of work. At the end of it, however, she put on a brave face after talking with her family and I was clear...at least I thought. I also thought that we could still be friends - not everyday friends, but maybe keep in touch and be friendly. I honestly still thought that she was nice, but just not good for me as a girlfriend. She even drove me to the airport!
I proceeded to leave for a few weeks and I was just having a good time, forgetting about the disastrous last few months when I got an e-mail from the Shredder harassing me about breaking up with The Queen and how my roommate was treating her like a piece of meat, just being a general asshole and other assorted accusations. I was forced to call The Queen who accused me of not really wanting to be her friend and how one of my siblings was sending her pictures of me from some of my nights out in the lower 48. These pictures were inaccessible to only my friends (including The Queen) and my sister had no knowledge of any of this stuff. There was even a copy of my sister's myspace created to make it look like she was sending The Queen these pictures. The Queen blamed Shredder - who she had accused of being successful in breaking us up.
This is when I first had the thought that Shredder was a completely fabricated person (the idea of copying my sister's myspace put it in my head). It would be a rather simple matter to register an e-mail address, find some pictures online, and create some fake profiles on various social networking websites from which The Queen/Shredder could harass me, garner sympathy as The Queen was supposedly getting pranked/harassed by Shredder, get other women out of the way (The Illini anyone?), and basically serve as a scapegoat for anything that goes wrong between The Queen and I.
Over the next two months Shredder was blamed (and I got e-mails about) for trying to get The Queen to take her own life, for scoring a couple shots on The Queen with a baseball bat (but only before The Queen shaved her head), for ordering a bunch of food that The Queen supposedly had to pay for, for poisoning The Queen's pets, stealing her purse (and leaving it at my place outside my door), and leaving animal parts on The Queen's car.
This shit was getting weird...the roommate and I did some more in-depth analysis of the social networking sites both The Queen and Shredder belonged to and confirmed the fact that not only was Shredder a totally fictitious person, but that it was indeed The Queen that created this person. Now, I didn't want all this creative energy focused on me and burning down my house so I did what any self-respecting coward would do, I waited it out.
Over time The Queen realized her antics weren't going to convince me to get back together with her and so a new story was made up - a deal between Shredder and The Queen where Shredder went to rehab and The Queen would do anything she wanted after Shredder got out. Evidently Shredder (remember - Shredder doesn't exist) had a nasty cocaine habit, burned The Queen with cigarettes, and hit such a low in this whole endeavor that she agreed to rehab. I wish her well :)
In any case I still long for the day when my regular dating stories were exciting to me - not this crazy stuff. For example, take this exchange from my junior year of college, "OMG!!! Like I totally went for the HUG and SHE went for the KISS!!! ROFL!!!"
Here's to normalcy - until next time!
AirForceKush - aka - The Arctic Fox
Kush was this the drama from ASBC? and that picture was of you me and Johnny? That other chick was MADE UP? my oh my.....
Dude, I love how "Crazy" is your most-used tag.
Ummmm... wow... you win... I've definitely never put up with anything anywhere near that crazy.
Wow Kish..... I do believe that koots night was the Special K night? My bad (or Doug and Jared's really...) for causing such a big fight :)