Making a Comeback...Here's To You Mrs. Robinson
Well, it turns out this blog actually has a following...
Yes, that's right folks - all three of my readers complained about the lack of posts lately and even hinted that at least two other people might read this blog while working night shift (take that Air Force computer filters!). As it turns out I've been single less than a week and I already have an...interesting story.
I had spent all day watching my Cyclones get beat (again - this time on a fourth down play) with a few friends and it looked like we were heading towards a night of debauchery at my favorite alphabet named company - ABCs. For the uninitiated ABC = Alaska Bush Company or the premier strip club in Alaska (but that's not saying very much). While this may have seemed like a perfect option for a newly single guy such as myself I had a couple of other obligations - a friend got promoted and a friend had a birthday.
I chose to go to the birthday party. It was just a few friends, the birthday girl, her former boyfriend (boyfriend at the time), and me. We decided to start at a familiar place - Humpys. As usual Humpys was crowded with absolutely no place to sit so the trick is to find a place to stand where people/servers won't bump into you and you can have some semblance of conversation.
As we were finding just that place that also had the advantage of being very close to a booth soon to become free I had the feeling of someone staring at me. It turns out this was because I had someone staring at me...and she was cute! I looked behind me to see if she was looking at someone else, but there could be no one else. This was definitely strange - my usual pattern after a girlfriend is to think I'm hot stuff for a bit until there are no takers, be extremely desperate for about six months, and then get to the point where I just don't care anymore. At that point usually some woman notices that I don't care and seems to find that irresistable and the cycle starts anew.
So this kind of stare was about six months too early.
I decided to strike up a conversation when I noted that this young woman was not there alone...she had a wingman. This wingman was a cougar...(more or less)...
Grrrrrr..............
At this point a few of us had joined the converstation and I found myself engaging the cougar in conversation. It turns out that the pair were traveling nurses from the lower 48 only here for a limited time.
It was about here when I started to suspect their intentions toward me and my friends were less than honorable. I didn't really have a problem with this, but now I faced another fork in the road. I was very recently out of a relationship while a couple of my friends were borderline monks with all the time they've had between having women in their lives.
At this point I made the decision to become "the wingman."
"I feel the need...the need...for speed"
So, I decided to play my favorite game - "Have You Met ______?" My friend was less than enthused with this game - especially since the only opening for this game at the moment was with the cougar and not her younger, hotter friend. My other friend was engaging the other woman so she was unavailable.
The first friend disappeared after his setback, but I was still in wingman mode - and despite reports to the contrary - this wouldn't have been all that bad a grenade to jump on...so to speak. However, just then three of my pilots came in since it was a long weekend and my friend and I talking to these women. I'm not a pilot, but I don't think anything has helped my stading among those guys than being somewhat successful (the cougar gave me her phone number right in front of them) with a couple of women in a bar...ah the life I live. We all bantered for a few minutes when the birthday girl and her boyfriend started texting me inappropriate messages as I was totally abandoning them on her birthday. The point was well taken so I extracted myself from this situation and my friend soon followed suit.
My pilots, already trying to get in on the conversation with the women, took the advantage and started talking themselves. After a few minutes of that I soon got the nod from the pretty one to come "rescue" her from my fellow squadron members. I couldn't say no, but now I was in a pickle. I was saving the hot one, but the cougar was still trying to be my Mrs. Robinson...
Here's to you...
I was saved by my remaining friend - he came back up and I was back to being the wingman. Except for one thing - my buddy thought he was playing wingman for me. So as he got "hug raped" (that's the best description I can make - I swear) in an attempt by the younger one to communicate her intentions and the cougar was making eyes at me and pretty explictly begging me not to leave we each found ourselves playing a holding game with the other - wondering why the other wouldn't make a move. This continued for about five minutes when the birthday girl finally made it clear that it was time to leave by dragging me out of the bar. The pilots seemed impressed I was being dragged out by yet a third woman.
The night continued rather uneventfully for us, but in an interesting addendum to the story (I found out the next day) the other party I was going to go to (the promotion party) entered Humpys about 15 minutes after we left. The first group my friends J and Big ran into were the same group of girls we had just left. My friends found themselves curiously being stared at by a pair of women - one of them a cougar.
Long story short at least one of my friends woke up to a thrash of a cougar and her red hair while the other didn't make it to lunch at all.
It's nice to know I'm special :)
Until next time, watch out for the cougars...they prey on young men...
AirForceKush...aka...The Arctic Fox
Yes, that's right folks - all three of my readers complained about the lack of posts lately and even hinted that at least two other people might read this blog while working night shift (take that Air Force computer filters!). As it turns out I've been single less than a week and I already have an...interesting story.
I had spent all day watching my Cyclones get beat (again - this time on a fourth down play) with a few friends and it looked like we were heading towards a night of debauchery at my favorite alphabet named company - ABCs. For the uninitiated ABC = Alaska Bush Company or the premier strip club in Alaska (but that's not saying very much). While this may have seemed like a perfect option for a newly single guy such as myself I had a couple of other obligations - a friend got promoted and a friend had a birthday.
I chose to go to the birthday party. It was just a few friends, the birthday girl, her former boyfriend (boyfriend at the time), and me. We decided to start at a familiar place - Humpys. As usual Humpys was crowded with absolutely no place to sit so the trick is to find a place to stand where people/servers won't bump into you and you can have some semblance of conversation.
As we were finding just that place that also had the advantage of being very close to a booth soon to become free I had the feeling of someone staring at me. It turns out this was because I had someone staring at me...and she was cute! I looked behind me to see if she was looking at someone else, but there could be no one else. This was definitely strange - my usual pattern after a girlfriend is to think I'm hot stuff for a bit until there are no takers, be extremely desperate for about six months, and then get to the point where I just don't care anymore. At that point usually some woman notices that I don't care and seems to find that irresistable and the cycle starts anew.
So this kind of stare was about six months too early.
I decided to strike up a conversation when I noted that this young woman was not there alone...she had a wingman. This wingman was a cougar...(more or less)...
Grrrrrr..............
At this point a few of us had joined the converstation and I found myself engaging the cougar in conversation. It turns out that the pair were traveling nurses from the lower 48 only here for a limited time.
It was about here when I started to suspect their intentions toward me and my friends were less than honorable. I didn't really have a problem with this, but now I faced another fork in the road. I was very recently out of a relationship while a couple of my friends were borderline monks with all the time they've had between having women in their lives.
At this point I made the decision to become "the wingman."
"I feel the need...the need...for speed"
So, I decided to play my favorite game - "Have You Met ______?" My friend was less than enthused with this game - especially since the only opening for this game at the moment was with the cougar and not her younger, hotter friend. My other friend was engaging the other woman so she was unavailable.
The first friend disappeared after his setback, but I was still in wingman mode - and despite reports to the contrary - this wouldn't have been all that bad a grenade to jump on...so to speak. However, just then three of my pilots came in since it was a long weekend and my friend and I talking to these women. I'm not a pilot, but I don't think anything has helped my stading among those guys than being somewhat successful (the cougar gave me her phone number right in front of them) with a couple of women in a bar...ah the life I live. We all bantered for a few minutes when the birthday girl and her boyfriend started texting me inappropriate messages as I was totally abandoning them on her birthday. The point was well taken so I extracted myself from this situation and my friend soon followed suit.
My pilots, already trying to get in on the conversation with the women, took the advantage and started talking themselves. After a few minutes of that I soon got the nod from the pretty one to come "rescue" her from my fellow squadron members. I couldn't say no, but now I was in a pickle. I was saving the hot one, but the cougar was still trying to be my Mrs. Robinson...
Here's to you...
I was saved by my remaining friend - he came back up and I was back to being the wingman. Except for one thing - my buddy thought he was playing wingman for me. So as he got "hug raped" (that's the best description I can make - I swear) in an attempt by the younger one to communicate her intentions and the cougar was making eyes at me and pretty explictly begging me not to leave we each found ourselves playing a holding game with the other - wondering why the other wouldn't make a move. This continued for about five minutes when the birthday girl finally made it clear that it was time to leave by dragging me out of the bar. The pilots seemed impressed I was being dragged out by yet a third woman.
The night continued rather uneventfully for us, but in an interesting addendum to the story (I found out the next day) the other party I was going to go to (the promotion party) entered Humpys about 15 minutes after we left. The first group my friends J and Big ran into were the same group of girls we had just left. My friends found themselves curiously being stared at by a pair of women - one of them a cougar.
Long story short at least one of my friends woke up to a thrash of a cougar and her red hair while the other didn't make it to lunch at all.
It's nice to know I'm special :)
Until next time, watch out for the cougars...they prey on young men...
AirForceKush...aka...The Arctic Fox
Ah, yes. I am one of your few semi-faithful followers (meaning I look at this every few months or so unless you tell me to check it more regularly).
Anyhow - I must add to the addendum to your story. When we all walked into the bar, J was right behind me at the bar ordering drinks when the girl in the next chair over did a slow (picture it, slow motion) turn, eyes locked, and introduced herself to J. He wasn't interested at first but she did some cougar magic and the next thing I and some of the other girls out knew, the two men were frozen in place unable to leave conversation with these women.
And we definitely left them there after many attempts to play the good wingmen (read: save them from danger, not ruin their fun).
This is my first experience witnessing a female prowler.
I did not take notes.
~M